RBS Six Nations Employee Background Check
With the new Six Nations rugby championship just round the corner, we at CBS look at the coming sporting event with the usual mixture of excitement and anticipation. Being based near Cardiff in Wales, our allegiance is usually of the red variety; but being a company that does business all over Europe, we appreciate our neighbours almost as fondly.
So in order to try and be as impartial as possible, we have decided to give each team a quick run-down and analysis in order to look at their personalities as if they were people we work with and look at what it would be like if we were to share an office with them.
All comments are meant in good humour but convictions for eye-gouging and stamping will have to be taken into account.
Once the original star of the company who has been with them for years and has a great track record and work-history. However, France have found themselves somewhat side-lined recently as other members of staff bring in fresh new ideas and methods, leaving them floundering and scrambling to catch up and remain part of the top tier. Still supremely confident of their ability, France still expects (rightly or wrongly) to be there or thereabouts when the trophy is handed out at the end of the tournament. But with their demotion to the second tier over the last 8 years or so, France has also lost a lot of the “fear-factor” which made them so successful, allowing their co-workers to encroach on their traditional areas of success. Having had a long and complicated relationship with England, the management generally find it best to keep them at opposite ends of the office due to their history of conflict and clash of personalities. Despite being kept apart, they still find reasons to argue and fight and don’t seem to get along and have a strained working relationship, that while generally peaceful, tends to bubble up into an argument and resentment. Reports of France moving their stuff onto other desks and using them for “storage” have been rejected as France said it is just making the most out of the room available, causing problems for HR who have to deal with Russia’s constant complaints.
Once the perennial underdogs of the championship and pretty much seen as a nailed on win and a fun day out, Ireland is that co-worker in the office that went back to University, got a degree and has knuckled down, determined to get the most out of their career. Gone are the days where they used to be the life and soul of the party and a great laugh to have around the office. Now all they seem to care about is their commitments, career and climbing the corporate ladder. While this may be great for them in a professional sense – and the company certainly benefits from having another strong performer in the mix – you can’t help but feel a little sad as you fondly reminisce and miss the fun person that used to get inappropriately drunk at office parties and cause a scene. Mixed in with the changing emotions is the distrust from the traditional office stars, England, Wales and France at the arrival of a new challenger to their position of dominance. Having never had to really compete or worry about Ireland before, it has come as something of a shock to many to see them doing so well all of a sudden. Without realising it was even happening, France seems to have switched position with them as one of the top employees and is now struggling to even compete with the new office wunderkind.
Kind of seen as part of the furniture in the office, Scotland can always be found sitting diligently at their desk and probably always will be. Lacking any real ability and drive to advance and better themselves, Scotland have found themselves somewhat stuck in a rut in the championship and are unable to match their co-worker’s recent advancements and skills. Despite their best efforts, Scotland have failed to get anywhere near the kind of performances everyone else seems capable of and now seems to have settled into their position of that person in your office who comes in and leaves on time every day and does exactly what is expected of them; no more, no less. Occasionally they will perk up and put in an extra special effort when competing with their old sparring partner England, but they struggle to repeat this kind of performance on a consistent basis in order to compete with colleagues who have become accustomed to doing the hard work and reaping the big rewards. Scotland usually run out of steam at around 11am and slouch back in their chair and carry on putting in average performances, doing just enough to get by. They have failed to wow anyone in management for years and seem content to continue plugging along while getting left further behind year after year.
England is that ultra-confident person in every office that not many people necessarily like, but every office needs in order to get a lot of the work done. England see themselves as the de-facto office leader, usually with the results and work-performance to back it up – all helped by their private education and carefully mapped career path. But England has a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way; always trying to take the lead in meetings, talking over other members of staff and telling everyone what to do, even though their title and position doesn’t give them that authority. England has a difficult working relationship with their colleagues and is often left out of group activities and gossiped about by other members of staff. But while England may have something of an image problem, they are more than capable of backing up their attitude with results. Often the star of the show and the person who always seems to get the lucky breaks, they often excel and can usually be relied upon to deliver the goods. Their image problem remains a pressing issue. While people enjoy seeing Ireland and Wales do well, they find that England’s singular focus on results and performance overpowers everything else they do. As such they fail to properly connect and integrate with their colleagues, causing resentment and cliques to form against them: nonetheless, stubborn to a fault, England refuse to change their ways and continue to act like everyone’s boss.
Though this person doesn’t seem to really do much in the office, everyone likes to keep them around as they provide something different and the element of fun that Ireland used to provide, but has been badly missed before they joined the company. Well-liked by everyone and always good company to be around, Italy can usually be relied upon to provide other countries with a much needed “easy-win” and as such are a welcome addition to the championship. They will often try their best to match their colleague’s effort and work-rate, but lack the proper experience and tools to do the job at the same level. Staff look kindly on them however and are always happy to help out, offer advice and point them in the right direction. Still young and learning their trade, Italy will take quite a while to become a fully competent employee. Due to their lack of experience, Italy may face decades of plucky effort, with little reward, but inspired by Ireland’s transformation, Italy feel that with enough hard work and dedication, they too can become one of the top performers in the company.
While England is seen as the studious and serious person in the office, Wales is usually seen by others as the more likeable, but just as successful alternative. With talent and creativity to spare, Wales has experienced great success in their career and could easily be in a management position by now if they could only focus more on the job at hand. Always looking to pull a prank on England and disrupt their carefully organised plans just for the sheer joy of it, Wales is one of the more popular guys in the office and someone who can achieve great success when they put their mind to it. There is something of a flaw in the Welsh character however, with them getting easily distracted or bored – often losing focus and spending large periods of time playing on their phone when he should probably be working. Despite this, Wales always give a good account of themselves and can be usually depended upon to be one of the top employee within the company. Upper management however remain wary, as while Wales are capable of greatness, they often fall short of producing the very best work, leaving people to wonder what their career could achieve if they could produce their top performances week in, week out.
Six Nations – six teams desperate to win. But as always there can be only one winner. Given their recent run of success, it is hard to look beyond England when trying to pick a potential champion. However, it could be argued that they may have peaked too early and their recent winning streak might actually work against them this year. Teams always tend to give a little bit of extra effort when playing England out of a matter of principal and playing an England team that has steam-rolled all before them over the last year will make the likes of Ireland and Wales try just that little bit harder in an attempt to beat them. But without their experienced first team coach Warren Gatland, Wales will struggle to be as good as they should be, leaving Ireland as England’s only realistic challengers for the 2017 Six Nations Championship.
Verdict: England win.
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